It Is Cake and Cunnilingus Time — Let’s Celebrate! | Autostraddle

You will find two essential announcements: 1. Nowadays, April 14th, is my birthday, and 2. I just learned that while this time coincides with several significant historical activities (the Lincoln murder, the Titanic hitting the iceberg, the beginning of Sarah Michelle Gellar and
Da Brat
), additionally, it coincides with any occasion you probably have not observed and don’t understand you required. No, I’m not making reference to National Dolphin time — even though it is actually, in reality, nationwide Dolphin Day, assuming you should commemorate bisexual sea animals with a really unsettling level of cleverness, by all means, go for it. I’m speaing frankly about Cake and Cunnilingus Day. Discover a brief history:

In 2002, Boston-based radio DJ Tom Birdsey decided that Valentine’s Day asked extreme from direct dudes. On their WFNX radio program, the guy proclaimed that henceforth, March 14th might possibly be
“Steak and Blowjobs Time,”
a man-centered reaction to valentine’s which encourages women to offer some steak and go lower on their gallant guys — you are sure that, as a “thank you” for all the V-Day flowers and chocolate. Whenever pornography curator Ms. Naughty learned all about Birdsey’s “holiday” in 2006, she
produced her very own trip
in response. Therefore, Cake and Cunnilingus time was given birth to.

Cake and Cunnilingus Day isn’t an “official” trip, but it

does

have the official website. The
pleasant web page
records that while valentine’s is actually “for lovers,” Cake and Cunnilingus Day is “more carnally preoccupied,” centering satisfaction in place of commitment. The rest of the vocabulary regularly explain this event is emphatically cis-centric and heteronormative, but everybody knows that cis, right folks dont get cunnilingus and they DEFINITELY don’t very own dessert. Queer and trans audience, why don’t we join this sugar-fueled, dental bacchanal and state it for our selves.

All things considered, times are difficult. We’re able to all utilize a tad bit more cake
and cunnilingus
in life. Therefore why don’t we celebrate, shall we?

“But Ro, I’m not into cunnilingus and that I’m more of a savory meals person!” THAT’S FINE! Perchance you’d instead state a much less chauvinist form of Steak and Blowjobs time, or maybe Ramen and Rimming Day or French Fries and Fisting Day would be perfect for your preferences. On this subject great day (bear in mind: it’s the time

of

my

birth

), I motivate one to commit you to ultimately hedonism in whatever type seems best. Assuming the cake/cunnilingus combination talks to you personally, i have combined eight types cakes with eight varieties of cunnilingus to encourage your own revelry.

An easy note before we (muff) dive in: If you are planning to take cake straight away before performing cunnilingus on a vulva-owning partner, maybe brush your smile or perhaps rinse your mouth with h2o if your wanting to dip in. Cake and Cunnilingus time is all fun and games until it really is accompanied by yoghurt and yeast-based infections time. If you would like get involved in it safe, digest your dessert

after

the dental gender provides concluded.

Okay, onto the pairings!

If You Want to begin the Day With Cunnilingus — Consume Coffee Cake

Nothing claims, “hello and delighted Thursday!” like a tongue within legs. After your day routine, simplicity in to the other types of early morning work with a slice of coffee dessert. This
cinnamon sour lotion coffee cake
dish will set perfectly with whatever gay oat milk products latte you and your clit-licking companion tend to be craving.

If For Example The Mate Likes Teasing Their Unique Tongue — Eat Carrot Cake

Oral gender is about the journey. In case the companion wants to dangle the carrot of an orgasm just before as they edge you for mins (or hours), then you certainly’re going to need some carrot dessert ahead down through the unavoidable endorphin high. This
vegan and gluten-free carrot meal
dish will match several diet needs.

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If You Like Taking Place on Your Lover While At The Same Time Railing These With Your Own Fingertips — Eat Pound Cake

Use your bundt mildew! After providing or receiving a pounding, you are going to require some heavy, moist meal to refuel. Generally, pound cake is made with a pound of each component: flour, butter, eggs and sugar, however if you should follow slightly harder directions, this
orange Southern pound-cake
dish can do the trick.

If You Like to 69 — Eat Upside-Down Pineapple Cake

If you should be in just one of those lucky interactions whereby a couple of partners have actually versatile necks AND somewhat equal torso lengths, after that 69ing may be your chosen as a type of dental satisfaction. And since you like to
flip it and reverse it
, you will most probably appreciate a cake meal which includes some slick moves. Try this
pineapple upside-down meal
recipe, that involves flipping the meal over once its out from the oven.

If Absolutely Facesitting — Eat Cheesecake

Let’s be honest — performing oral sex tends to be hard regarding the throat. If you want to lie as well as get fully smothered by your lover’s butt when you make your best effort tongue flicking, then chances are you should reward yourself which includes cheesecake, which offers the softness and occurrence reminiscent of a round rump. This
matcha mint cheesecake
dish or your
no-bake vegan lime almond cheesecake
dish will meet your requirements.

If A Person or More Lovers Tend To Be Menstruating — Eat Red Velvet Cake

If you’re among those “red velvet merely chocolate — it isn’t really its flavor” folks, kindly move aside. “Red velvet,” like duration gender, is supposed to be an

experience

. Follow-up your own crimson carpet-munching with a piece with this
vegan yellow velvet cake
, which gets the hue from red-colored food color, or this
“naturally-dyed” yellow velvet cake
, which becomes their shade from beets.

If You Like receive On Your Knees — Eat Flourless Chocolate Cake

Perhaps you value the pain of kneeling on a hardwood flooring as you offer oral solution. You, reasonable masochist, should nurse your own bruises although you drain your smile into some thing smooth. I’m writing about flourless chocolate meal, of course! This
gluten-free meal
contains a bit of coffee — you will need the boost before round two.

When It’s Your First Time Serving or Receiving Queer Cunnilingus — Consume Confetti Cake

Officially, “confetti cake” merely vanilla dessert with sprinkles during the batter, it tastes unquestionably much better — and is alson’t that an excellent metaphor for queerness? If you and/or your partner tend to be new to the ability of queer cunnilingus, you deserve a cunt-fetti meal that leaves you in a celebratory state of mind. Get a package of Funfetti meal combine or Doing It Yourself through
this recipe
.

What’s your preferred meal recipe? What is your favorite oral intercourse position? Decrease the recs in the comments!